Maintenance. Maintaining. Do you want to maintain or do you want to live? Do you want to just survive through life or do you actually want to live your life. That is difference between maintenance and sobriety. Maintenance is maintaing a quality of life, that is the focus. Sobriety is effortlessly having quality of life and then actually being able to focus on living.
The ugly truth about suboxone and methadone maintenance is that it is still a ball and chain. Every morning you wake up, and guess what? You aren’t ok. You either need to go to the clinic, drink some syrup or take a pill before you can be ok. You are chained to the medicine. You aren’t ok all on your own, you are ok with the help of a substance. And guess what? That isn’t life. Life isn’t about needing a substance to be ok.
Suboxone and Methadone are touted as being a cure all for addiction. They allow people who were once shooting heroin to have a semi-decent sense of normalcy but that normalcy is only provided in a 10, 20, 30, 40, or 50 mg and so on. Suboxone and Methadone are quick fixes. They don’t work long term. Or maybe they do but is your life as good as it could be?
Even if you can maintain on these substances, aren’t you selling yourself short? Your life is better now on these drugs but how good could it be if you weren’t on any drugs at all? How good could your life be if you weren’t still seeing through the eyes of a person who is on drugs. Cause Suboxone and Methadone are drugs incase anyone was wondering.
For the most part, Suboxone and Methadone look like cures to a more serious problem but really all they are doing is sweeping the problem under the rug. They are getting rid of the symptoms and not actually fixing anything. Suboxone and Methadone are not solutions, they are cover ups. They are putting a bandaid on a bullet wound. Methadone and Suboxone make it so the outside tangible stuff looks a little bit better and the track marks on your arms disappear but they don’t actually solve anything. They don’t actually fix the spiritual and mental part of the disease of addiction. In fact, they leave those two painful symptoms of addiction well intact. So intact, in fact, that many people on Suboxone and Methadone will end up just going back to heroin or another opiate or will continue using other substances while using the two.
Suboxone and Methadone are just substitutes. They don’t constitute recovery. They don’ constitute sobriety. And they definitely don’t equate into clean time. Someone who has recovered from their addiction and who is living in sobriety does more than just not use any drugs or alcohol, they live differently. While on Methadone and Suboxone you aren’t living any differently. In fact, you are living the exact same, just with a different substance. You haven’t changed your lifestyle, the way you feel inside, the way you treat other people, nor have you fixed the constant focus on some kind of tangible substance.
Suboxone and Methadone are weak. They are the cowards way to get clean. They are the easy way out. They are the way to half-ass living life. They are the way to pretend like you’re doing well when really you’re not doing as well as you could. They are the excuse. They are denial. They are the justification and rationalization as to why you are and still can get high. They are honestly, total bullshit, when used in maintenance programs. They are, you, still on drugs.
In fact, I don’t want to say this but I might as well, you might be better off just shooting heroin. But that might not necessarily be true, but I know sure as hell you are nowhere near better or as good as you could be on Methadone or Suboxone. These drugs allow you to merely survive your life not actually live it. If you want to live life, get sober. For real sober. No more crutches. No more substances. No more ball and fucking chain that allows you to move through life. The beast still controls you on Methadone and Suboxone you’re just feeding it something different. And guess what it is going to tell you a lot of stuff about this blog about how it is wrong and how these maintenance programs are effective because it wants you to keep feeding it these substances. Any food is better than no food in your addiction’s mind, why? Because that way it still holds the reins. Not you.
So if you want to keep surviving through your one shot at life instead of actually living it, my hats off to you. If its working great. But I want you to think about how much better it would be if you didn’t even NEED suboxone or methadone as well as anything else. I want you to think about how awesome your life could and would be if you weren’t tied down by medication. I want you to think about what you would do with a clear mind, body and soul, that is weighed down by either substance. I want you to decide if your maintenance, is as good as actually living, free of anything.
This, is the ugly truth my friends.