A Real Fentanyl Account: Fuck What You Heard

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heroin stampsIf I had a dollar for every blog article or breaking news story I have seen on Fentanyl in the past 24 hours, I’d have enough money to  buy at least a ‘bundle’ of Fentanyl ‘cut’ heroin ($50-100+ depending who you know and where you are). A bundle, for those who aren’t drug addicted or street-wise is 10 wax bags of heroin wrapped together by the little colored braid rubber bands you can buy at the corner store in any hood across the country. Some drug dealers will go even further and wrap the bundle in porno magazine pages, or ripped up comics from the Sunday paper to further conceal the drug and be able to throw it readily for a smooth, discreet transaction. Heroin can also come in a ‘cap’ which is a little capsule filled with the substance instead of whatever its intended use.

Either way, a single bag or cap or balloon is usually around 1/10 of a gram of heroin. That doesn’t seem like much if your a drug addict, or it seems too much if your a layman. In any event, let me out myself as a drug addict in recovery, so you understand the prose in which I write. That being said, please allow me to shed some light on this current DEADLY FENTANYL HEROIN plaguing the USA.

First off, what the hell is Fentanyl anyway, right ? Fentanyl is a potent synthetic opiate. Whats that mean ? It’s the same thing as heroin. That’s all. Scary grandaddy king heroin’s wicked stepmother. Only real difference, heroin is made from the poppy, while Fentanyl is made in a lab. Heroin is sold by drug kingpins and street dealers, and Fentanyl most-commonly is sold by pharmaceutical companies for big profits, often paid by one’s insurance company – just like oxycontin, but Fentanyl is usually in a lollipop or transdermal patch form rather than a pill. 
Ok- so now I know what Fentanyl is.. So why’s it being mixed with heroin ?
Ok, so supply and demand. Tons of drug addicts floating around these days, addiction clearly on the rise in the ever spiritually devoid good ole US of A. Addicts want the drugs. Opiates, maybe more than anything else are extremely addictive. Although one cannot die from the ferocious withdrawal symptoms brought on by cessation of opiates like with alcohol or benzodiazapines, the withdrawal is all encompassing. It renders most useless. I used to not be able to stand while going through it cold turkey, let alone work or function. That being said, the goal once your caught in this cycle and formed a habit, is to not get ‘sick’ aka ‘dope sick’. So, stay high at all costs
– DEMAND. Now as for supply, there is clearly no shortage in heroin circulating around our country these days. From my own experience, you can find it up in North Jersey about as readily as you can find a McDonald’s. Truth. The drug dealers want my money, they want my business. They want me hooked, they want me paying, they want me a ‘fiend’. And rightfully so. McDonald’s wants us hungry, right ? And how does fast food keep us interested after all these years; lower prices, new and exciting items, and PROMOTION.
Now, non-addicts… I know what you’re thinking; How the fuck does a drug dealer promote his product ? Doesn’t seem too smart to boast a television commercial, or hire an ad agency. Thus began the art of the stamp bag.
So, those bags we talked about earlier that comprise a bundle, they have stamps on them. The stamps say different things, or have different pictures portrayed on them (very often socially relevant, ironically enough) and come in a myriad of colors. Why?
This is done so I can track the product a certain dealer is putting out after having used it. If the product is good, I request that specific batch, and if its bunk, I move onto the next dealer or the next batch. They moved so much of this stuff back when I was still high, that I would go in the morning, cop, test out the bags, and by the time I knew I wanted to call back for more, it was usually gone already.
The grind isn’t what one might expect. If I have a bundle a day habit, I probably have to buy that bundle that day. It’s not commonplace to buy days worth of drugs in advance as its usually most wise to have control over my liquidity as it were, and because I’d rather get caught with 10 bags than the 70 I’ll need to get through the week. Sounds micromanaged ? Well, thats the difference between personal use and trafficking, unless the cops being a dick. So somewhere through the natural capitalism of it all, the drug dealers figured out that the best way to get the most money the quickest (since street level dealing usually isn’t a career) was to have the best shit. And then came Fentanyl. Same exact feeling as heroin or oxycontin or all the rest of my favorite old friends. Snag a script of Fentanyl, change composition to powder, 2 part Fentanyl to 5 part heroin to 3 part additive (yea, we never know what that’s gonna be – seems safe right) and there you have it. Now comes the oldest trick in the book – put out the bangin product, let everyone try it and love it and then when they come back to buy the heady weight in fear the bangin shit will dry up, switch it out for a lesser cut (5 parts additive 5 parts heroin). And this is the world I got stuck in. 
Captivating as it may be, you guys probably still want to know why its killing everyone, I assume. Couple different explanations here.
Firstly, you have my past history I just described as an example, at least in part. And regardless of what Joe-Junkie might tell you about him buying kilos and pure shit and whatever else blah blah blah, his experience, at least in part was exactly like mine. Especially if he lived in a big city. Point being, the drug use was naturally staggered by the dealers. So Monday I might be so high I’m drooling on myself all day, and Wednesday I might shoot up and hardly have an effect. And don’t forget I’m leaving out all the extenuating factors; getting arrested, dealer getting arrested, area getting too hot, someone getting murdered, supply drying up, dealer not answering, having no transportation, low on funds, not able to find anything to steal… You get the picture.
So the day may come that my tolerance (ever-increasing) may become weakened by a dry spell, or shitty product or a combination of any of the reasons I mentioned; and then I get the good shit. And it lays me right out. Chances are, most of the people that are finding themselves deeply rooted in this type of lifestyle, probably aren’t broadcasting their behavior, or surrounding themselves with anyone during their getting high. So when one falls out, as inevitably they will playing Russian Roullette, no one is around to save them.
Shit, not all states even allow drugs like Narcan or Naloxone to be made readily available to the public. So even if someone does find me, by the time they call 911 and the ambulance gets there it is often too late. My weight significantly drops and my immune system is highly affected, and the amount of drugs I need to be well, let alone be high increases. Naturally, I will take too much at one point.
There are also detoxes and rehabs everywhere nowadays. It’s become much more common and even almost socially acceptable to go somewhere to get help. And these places do provide an opportunity for one to initially break their cycle and get a chance at sobriety. On the other hand, drug addicts (not very surprisingly) will abuse these places, and go in for what I used to call, ‘an oil change’. I would go in for 30 days, never with the purpose to actually get sober, clean myself up, eat, shower, and take away my high tolerance for a time.. Ultimately, so I can get out, and start the whole thing over again from scratch. Go 30 days without any opiates and slam a 5 bag shot, and good luck living through that. I see that most often nowadays. People are so used to doing so much, that they overshoot the mark and wind up never living to talk about it.
Just so I can spread the truth, this isn’t anything new. It is deadly, like they say, but it is avoidable. I am no politician, I am only the guy that very barely lived to be able to write something like this. You want my answer? Well, I’ll give it to you anyway. Mass allowance of Narcan and Naloxone as readily available as a fire extinguisher or defibrillator. We used those methods to save lives, same with this. Education on the topic of what addiction is, and where to go for help. De-stigmatization and true stories of hope rather than exploitation for mass entertainment on these stupid mindless fucking reality television shows.
So hey, listen up. If you have a problem with drinking or drug addiction – reach deep down inside and grab that little piece of hope – and do something. If you love someone that’s struggling – do not sit on your hands – MAKE A CALL – you may NEVER have a chance to again. If not now, WHEN ? 

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And  shit, if you wanna know how I did it, or you wanna critique my article or shoot the shit – just call me.
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