“My Country Hates Me and Wants Me to Die”

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addiction controversyTo Whom it May Concern:

I wanted to write this letter to educate the world on how it feels to be an addict in the United States. We are supposed to be free. We were even promised the pursuit of happiness. Ok, so here it goes. 

The United States has more incarcerated citizens per capita than any other country in the world. Including state programs for 3 felony strikes causing addicts to spend life in prison. Often times when imprisoned the incarcerate is left to decide between a job or AA meetings. That means if I go to prison for three strikes I am left to decide if I want to work or go to one AA meeting a day when they bring in H and I. So if I spend 24 hours in a jail, and want to feel purposeful by having a job, or feel well by implementing a solution for my addiction, I have to choose between the two. Often times, incarcerates are left to choose between finding a spiritual solution for addiction or having a purpose in life while in prison. 

Healthcare for the disease of addiction is non-existent. For example addiction is categorized in the DSM as a disease but we are still being arrested and thrown in jail for it. So the laws don’t mirror the medical understanding of the disease. It would be like arresting someone who has been diagnosed with cancer trying to buy their medicine. You could also say it would be like arresting the diabetic who is trying to get their insulin. 

So the state will provide me with methadone in one hand and then arrest me with other. Is this their idea of a solution?

The decision of charging me with distribution of narcotics is completely left up to however the officer is feeling that day. What if I don’t distribute drugs and I just have a raging drug habit? Am I even being charged correctly? Should I even be charged at all? Where is the help in that? And now I have felonies on my record so how am I supposed to have a future. This is just one more reason to say “fuck it” to trying to get sober. Also, more times than not I am left to look towards a public defender that has been provided by the state to somehow defend me in a court of law. So the same people who arrested me are also representing me in court. Doesn’t really bode well for me and my life. You could almost say that my country hates me and wants me to die. Live an addict and die an addict. Created by the same people who are now punishing me for my habit. 

To make matters even worse

The same company that makes the prescription narcotics that I initially became addicted to, are the same people that make the detox meds I am now addicted to. All of these companies donate to the republican and democratic parties. They are what is known as “Big Pharma.” And they make a killing off of killing me. Whether I am the 6 year old kid who is prescribed Adderall to deal with a supposed ADHD problem, who later becomes hooked on cocaine, or if I am the 50 year old woman with back pain who just wants a little relief; our society creates addicts and then either leaves them to die or puts them in jail cells, where many times they are left for their entire lifetimes. And it wouldn’t be shocking if those addicts ended up in what is known as “for profit prisons.” Coincidence? I don’t think so. 

My country does not work to protect me against any of this. Instead, they work to benefit from it. They grey the lines any way they can so the corporation can make a dollar, the prison can make a dollar, all at the expense of my life. I said it once and I will say it again my country hates me and wants me to die. 


Thank you for your time. Sincerely,